Sinners
by Digital Blue
Summary: Ken assimilates what's he and his friend are doing, and he's haunted by dreams and nighmares. But there is someone to comfort him, if only he gives that person the chance!


Disclaimer: All of Weiβ Kreuz's stuff doesn't belong to me. All characters belong to their respective owners.  
  
Rated 'R' for violence and for next chapters XD  
  
  
  
Sinners  
  
I stare scarily at my shivering hands. Damn! I'm having this case again. It's becoming a habit, dominating me whenever I feel nervous. I can even hear -no- feel the friction of the air I breath against my windpipe. Bad. I hear my name, but can't really register anything.  
  
"Eh?" I look up, breathing a bit abnormally. Everybody's staring down at me. What? Have I missed something important? They're all, including Manx, are standing. I steal a peak at the TV. It's shutdown. Then I notice a movement. I worriedly stand up, when Aya, our so-called, redheaded leader pushes Youji softly out of his way and narrows his already-grisly eyes at me.  
  
"Hidaka Ken. If you haven't paid attention to the mission's information, then nobody's going to waste his time explaining anything about it for you. It is your duty to be present ,body and mind, while the tape is plying. You've been daydreaming a lot lately."  
  
Daydreaming, huh? I stare back at him; not angry, not sad, not feeling anything. Clutching my fists to hide their shameful condition, I sigh, then I turn my gaze coolly towards Manx. She smiles at me, arms crossed against her chest. How cute!  
  
I turn back again when I hear Omi's caring voice. "What's wrong, Ken-kun? Youji-kun has been calling for a long time! Are you feeling okay?"  
  
Now; just now, I realize how it feels when there is someone who cares about you, someone who actually asks if you were feeling alright. Such a nice feeling. But...  
  
"I'm fine." My words come out flat, and for a moment I fear that they would disappoint poor Omi. "Leave the tape here. I'll watch it later." Giving them a last glance, I escape to the only place I find it comforting. My room.  
  
***************  
  
I throw my body bluntly on my bed, disturbing the darkness and silence of the room with the springs' noise. Putting both my hands under my head and closing my eyes peacefully, I sigh for God knows how many times this day.  
  
I try to shoo the thoughts outta my head. I wanna sleep, dammit! But no use.  
  
I flip to my right side, facing the murky wall. Why do we have to do all this shit? We can help innocent people; I mean we have to help them, but there are many other ways. Why do we have to kill? Killing would never make God pleased. Assassination is nothing to be proud of. It is wrong. With every victim we slay we get a new, fresh sin. And all Sinners deserve a place in hell.  
  
I cover my ear with my arm. Duh! What a pleasant thought right now. I hear footsteps approaching my bed. I pretend to be asleep, not bothering to know who that person is. Slowly, the person sits on my bed, right behind me. I smell a woman's perfume; probably Dior or Channel or something like that. It's Manx oh well. I feel it as she leans over and rests her arms in my laying figure. I stiffen, then sigh.  
  
"Oh c'mon Hidaka. I know you're awake." She teases huskily.  
  
"Yes I am." I say, never turning around. My voice coming out hoarse.  
  
"Wouldn't you tell me what's bothering you?" she asks softly, playing circular motions with her finger on my arm.  
  
I take a considerable time to think it over. No one should ever waste his time to know about what I feel, what I think, or what I want. Cuz I'm an assassin. Whatever I try to do, I'll end up...in Hell.  
  
As I start to shift, Manx backs away. I know lay on my back, with me hand behind my head; the other on my butt, staring directly at the ceiling. Then I smirk and turn my gaze at Manx's puzzled features.  
  
"Nah, Manx. I don't think so." I utter coolly.  
  
The red-head frowns. Then she demands loudly: "But why, Ken? Why don't you let me know more about you? Why don't you want to comfort yourself? Why won't you give me a chance to carry the heavy burden you're carrying?" She trails off. "Just.....why?"  
  
"Why do you care?" I shout angrily, and feel the shocked look she gives me back. "You deliver us our missions, Manx. You send us to our deaths. You send us to kill people. Why do you have to care, then? No body cares in this filthy, merciless, unworthy world."  
  
Silence.  
  
She stands up, takes a step backwards, and then turns. "I care, Ken. I do care." She says ever so sympathetically. A whisper. I couldn't have heard her had not the room been deadly silent. "From the bottom of my heart....I care. Just put this in your mind."  
  
She leaves me alone. Loneliness. Oneness. Darkness is the only creature that I can say everything to. Lonesomeness is the only thing that belongs to me.  
  
***************  
  
I spot our target. I feel my hands shaking again. I can't recall anything from the plan for this mission, so I just follow Yoji to our victim's death place. I hear Omi's voice through my headset. He's barely talking.  
  
"We are behind the target's door. Hurry up or we're all dead!" he says.  
  
'We'? So he must be with Abyssinian. We reach them in less than one minute. Apparently, they've done a great job dealing with the bodyguards; practically cleaning up the way for us.  
  
Aya kicks the door, revealing the gloomy room, the target, and three bodyguards. I feel dizzy and puzzled. Why don't I know what to do next? Why can't I run the next step? I see my three partners run towards each bodyguard. What should I do? I clench my trembling fists, unsheathing my claws. The target is now defenseless. Why not kill him myself? Certainly no problem. And so I walk towards the shivering man. My partners are still fighting with the other bodyguards.  
  
Suddenly, the man takes out a dagger from his belt. And points it to my face. "Stop!" he shouts. "I'll kill you!"  
  
I freeze. My eyes widen. He...can't kill me! I'm more skilled than this old, fat man. I have my claws, and I'm faster than him. I can slice his face into thin sheets of flesh and blood.  
  
I try to move my hands to apply my merciless plan on the man but I realize that I can't budge them one inch upwards!  
  
I panic. I've gotta protect myself! My mind shouts. I can't let this guy kill me. Oh please...The claws are too heavy!  
  
I stare scarily as the man's panicked face turns into a relaxed mode. He's smirking. The only thing I do is gasp as his blade touches my neck.  
  
"Kill the goddamn man, Siberian!" Yoji cries as he tries to get himself free from the bulky man's grip on his wrists. The huge man suddenly punches him on his butt and throws him to the wall.  
  
"NOOO!!" I cry as I see him grimace from pain and then passes out. The dagger is now pressed more into my neck.  
  
"Shut up. " The man says to me. " If you want your life, that is." I stare at him in panic. The next thing I hear is Omi's hurt cry. I hesitantly shift my head to see what's happened. He's laying on the ground, blood stained on his back.  
  
"OMI NO!!!" I breathe heavily. Hardly. The man moves his knife to my face, playing with my cheek. Once again I try to raise my hands and use my claws and take action, but I cannot. Dammit!  
  
Gritting cruelly on my teeth, I feel a tear escapes my eye. Next I hear a thud on the ground. I lower my head; no need to see to know. I lost my third partner.  
  
A hot tear runs down my cheek. As the three bodyguards gather around me, my whole body begins to tremble. The three men begin to laugh. My eyes snap open when I feel the dagger inside my flesh. The man is actually following the path of my tear...with his dagger!  
  
I gasp pathetically after I register the pain. It hurts me shitless, yet I can do nothing. I loosen my grip and my claws dive defeatedly back into their burrows.  
  
"Why didn't you kill me, lad? Were you frightened?" The boss questions me, now playing his goddamn sharp knife on my shirt. He tears it apart. The shirt that was stained with peoples' blood countless times. I shiver even more as the cold air caresses my now-bare chest.  
  
Yes. I am frightened; and I was afraid of killing you. I can't kill anymore. Dammit. That's why.  
  
I receive a tough kick from the back, a one that sends me right on my butt. What kind of men are these people?!  
  
Heh! Funny. How can I ask myself such a stupid question? Have I forgotten how my claws cut through men's hearts? Have I forgotten how cruelly I tore off and marred people's faces? No. No I haven't forgotten. I cannot forget. Never.  
  
Standing up defeatedly, I surrender; offering my beaten body completely to them. They look at me with confused features. I no longer shiver, but rather have a smile on my face. Though my bleeding cheek throbs when I do so. Perhaps this pain I'm felling and would feel might purge my soul and inner-self.  
  
"Damn you...Bastard!" and I receive a punch on my stomach from another hulking bastard. I curl on the ground, holding my stomach. I spit from ache, and cough out some blood. This...is going to be a long and destructive torture.  
  
"Why were you smiling, huh? You lil' son of a bitch!" The man who punched me now asks over my already aching head, and I let him kick me some more.  
  
I surprise myself when I stand up. I myself didn't know I've got so much tolerance ability.  
  
"So, you want to get hurt, boy. Don't you?" The boss says kinda angrily.  
  
I spit out blood. Yes. Hit me as much as you can. If your deadly torture were to clean all my previous sins, then I'd pray for it. For I know... I know that what's I'm going through would surly diminish God's punishment upon me. At least I wouldn't have to stay in Hell forever. Human's castigation is nothing compared to God's. I know that. Though I can't completely ignore the pain I'm currently feeling all over my body.  
  
I open my eyes, only to be greeted by the dagger. But this time the man descends it to my bare chest and caresses. My eyes fall wide open. So...this is going to be my end. I sigh, and in my mind, I wish farewells to my unconscious friends. The times I spent with them certainly were the best in my life. If only...  
  
I groan. The man inserts his razor-sharp blade into my heart. Slowly. Enjoying the feeling of my own flesh and blood against his blade. Enjoying my pale, shocked, crying features. Enjoying the sound of my sharp, short breaths. Enjoying the sound of heavy blood-drops on the ground. My vision slowly starts to fade. I gradually loose my balance and then fall on the ground with a loud thud, breathing like a kid who's been underwater for 7 minutes. I see nothing...but whiteness.  
  
"NOOO!!"  
  
I rapidly sit up, terrified. Heaving deeply , I stare down at the fluffy sheets of the bed. Beads of sweat slide to my chin and plummet on the sheets.  
  
"What the hell was that?" I ask my bewildered self loudly. I slowly calm down. "It was...a dream!"  
  
***************  
  
XD This is my first WK ficcie...Please be merciful T_____T  
  
Any feedback would be greatly appreciable. Not just 'any', but nice ^^...j/k. 


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